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How to find bliss today

Sep 25, 2018

Last time I wrote that there are seven words we should eliminate from our vocabulary. When I say eliminate, I don’t mean that they never utter your mouth again. That would be impossible. What I mean is that they are disempowering words and feelings that keep you small and not living your dream life. The goal is to act as if these words don’t exist—or at least try to as much as you can.

 

The next ones to tackle are:

Can’t – How many times have you been stopped by this word?  Can’t implies that you are incapable or inflexible or just plain unwilling to try. Someone who says can’t all the time refuses to try to step outside the box or does not believe enough in herself to try something she hasn’t done before.

 

Can’t is one of those reflexive words that gets blurted out without thinking. “I can’t do that,” often means “I don’t want to try” or “I think I’ll make a fool of myself” if I do. It says “stop” before you even think of what might lie ahead if you say “yes.”

 

Sure, there are valid reasons for saying you can’t do something. You might say it out of politeness when someone wants you do something you don’t want to do and you don’t want to offend their feelings. That’s okay. But next time you find yourself saying “can’t”, just pause and reflect on why you’re saying it. If it’s said out of fear or potential embarrassment, think again. You might be stopping yourself from something you’d like if only you’d tried. And it would be a shame if this one word prevented you from discovering something new and great.

 

That brings me to the next word:

Someday –“I’d love to do that someday” is such a wistful, even sad, expression. If you follow it up with an action plan to make it happen in a realistic fashion, that’s fine. It’s when the word is said in a fatalistic or rueful way that makes it a word to banish.

 

We all tell ourselves that we have dreams and things we want to do in the future. How many of them stay as ideas because we lack imagination or the confidence in ourselves to make them real?  Or we convince ourselves we’ll never have the time or money to do them?

 

Don’t let someday lead you to leading a life of regret. Here’s a quick way to turn someday into now.

  1. Break down your idea. Ask yourself what you have to do to cause it to happen.

If it’s a new skill you have to learn, make an action plan. Find out where you can learn it, how long it will take, what it will cost and what you stand to gain if you follow through on it.

  1. Time management is the key to success. If it’s a short term goal, make a daily schedule of what’s needed for success.  If it’s a long term goal, break it down into smaller chunks of time. This will keep you motivated and also give you places where you can reward yourself for staying on course. Make a calendar with the end date of the goal marked in giant stars.
  2. If it’s something that costs money you don’t have now, commit yourself to a savings plan that will enable you to reach your goal. Don’t be discouraged by the time it might take. Even if it takes ten years to raise the funds, that’s so much better than never.
  3. Remember that life is meant to live joyfully. Keep working to follow your dreams and turn them into reality.

 



 

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